Have you ever noticed how often adult women are referred to as “girls”? You might hear it at the office, in casual conversation, or even see it in marketing. It seems harmless on the surface. Some might even say it is meant to be sweet or youthful.
But there is a deeper issue here. When we constantly refer to grown women as children, we are doing more than just making a poor word choice. We are participating in the “infantilization” of women. This means treating an adult as if they are a child. It strips away authority, maturity, and respect.
This is not just a feeling. Research shows that this habit has real consequences for how women are seen and how they see themselves.
Why Language Matters
The words we use shape our reality. A thesis by Huot (2013) from the University of Northern Iowa found that over half of the participants reported using “girl” as their main term for adult females.
This same study highlighted that the word “girl” is strongly linked to being childlike, while “woman” is linked to being an adult. When we use the wrong label, we subconsciously assign the wrong traits.
Another study published in Sex Roles by Cundiff (2020) looked at everyday speech. Researchers found a clear imbalance:
- People use the label “girl” for adult women much more often than they use “woman.”
- People rarely use the label “boy” to refer to adult men. “Man” or “guy” is the standard.
This suggests a double standard. Men are allowed to grow up in our language. Women are often kept in a state of perpetual childhood.
The Impact on Leadership and Confidence
You might wonder if this actually changes anything in the real world. Does being called a “girl” make a woman less of a leader?
Evidence suggests the answer is yes. A thesis by MacArthur (2015) from Pennsylvania State University explored what happens when women are labeled as “girls” in a professional setting. The findings were concerning:
- Women called “girls” felt less confident that they would get a leadership position.
- They reported feeling lower in qualities associated with leadership, like strength and maturity.
- They believed others would see them as less capable.
When a manager or colleague uses this language, it subtly undermines a woman’s authority. It tells her, and everyone else in the room, that she is not fully an adult equal.
Kindness or Control?
Sometimes, infantilization is disguised as kindness. You might hear someone say they want to “protect” women or that women are “too delicate” for certain tasks.
Psychologists call this “benevolent sexism.” A review by Barreto and Doyle (2023) in Nature Reviews Psychology explains that while this behavior might look positive, it is actually harmful. It frames women as needing help and protection, rather than as competent adults who can handle themselves.
This type of “help” comes with a cost. It suggests that women are not capable of making their own decisions or handling difficult situations. It trades respect for a false sense of safety.
A Broader Pattern of Power
Infantilization is not just about gender. It is about power. A large-scale internet study by Epstein et al. (2022) published in Motivation and Emotion looked at this behavior across the lifespan.
The researchers found that treating adults like children is a common tactic used against groups with less power. This includes women, but also older adults. The study suggests that this kind of treatment can be as damaging as emotional abuse. It attacks a person’s sense of autonomy and self-worth.
What We Can Do
The good news is that we can change this. The first step is to simply notice the language we use.
- Listen to yourself: Do you call your female colleagues “girls”? Try swapping it for “women” or “colleagues” and see how it feels.
- Check your bias: If you feel the need to “protect” a woman from a difficult task, ask yourself if you would do the same for a man.
- Speak up: If you hear someone diminishing a woman’s authority with this language, gently correct them.
Words have power. By choosing to use language that respects the adulthood of women, we build a culture that values their contributions, leadership, and maturity. It is a small change that can make a big difference.